These funny love quotes are the most relatable thing you’ll read all day. Love is messy, weird, difficult and oftentimes very funny. “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” – Unknown.“It’s okay to look at the past and the future.“So it turns out that being an adult is really just Googling how to do stuff.” – Unknown.“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.” – Tina Fey.Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler (Matthew Perry), Friends “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln.“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?” – Unknown.“I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.” – Unknown.I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.” – Unknown “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese.“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” – Truman Capote.“I know I’m a handful but that’s why you got two hands.” – Unknown.Why not pair your favorite photos with unique quotes, messages, and sayings that best describe all the funny memories, milestones, and adventures in life? These funny sayings about life are also the perfect little additions to any personalized photo book. "And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.Looking for a funny quote or saying to reflect the humor that underlies many facets of life? From life’s many lessons, struggles and joys to the always interesting realities of life, you might find the perfect words in these funny life quotes. News is that the Church will come into $500 million.'" "There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news.The good The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. Us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.' We willĭonate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the greatĬatholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give The Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect yourĪdherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer. "My son, it is impossible, for the prayer is the word of the Lord and This reason we will increase our offer to $300 million." "Well," said the Nescafe man, "we anticipated your reluctance. 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily Nescafe is prepared toĭonate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from "Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.Īfter receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, They don't usually go anywhere without me, so i said 'Wait for me." Then my dad asks me mum: 'Are you coming?' Then my mum says, 'Yes I'm coming, are you coming too?' and my dad answered 'Yes'. Mum was breathing heavy and kicking her legs all over the place. Then my dad and my mum started moving at the same time. Johnny explains: "Miss, Dad asked me again, 'Johnny are you sleeping?. "My goodness Johnny, another black eye? What happened?" The day after that, Johnny comes back with a massive black eye again. The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. So the teacher says to him, "Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and don't say a word". Every night my dad asks, 'Johnny are you sleeping?' Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye." Me, my mum and my dad, we sleep on the same bed. Johnny's answer was: "Our house is very small Miss. Little Johnny walked into class every morning with a black eye.Īfter a few days of this happening, the teacher became very worried and asked him about it.
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